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What? Two Months Hiatus Already?

Honestly I was forgetting this blog for a while for a reason which I am trying to understand. Commonly I will remember to make an entry in beginning of June since it is my favorite month (I was born in June, of course…). However I completely forgot (or was too lazy?) to write down anything, including short stories which I planned to create regularly. I think I am currently in a “confused” state, even though I am not too sure what I am confused about.

I suspect this is somehow related to the fact that I just moved to different department in May. As mentioned in my previous post, I was not happy with my last job even though I got a promotion along with the position and responsibility. People could say that I was stupid and did not take the opportunity well, but I guess if someone has already not been happy with his or her current situation regardless the reason, it will be difficult to convince the person to believe that she or he needs to work on that and eventually she or he will be happy in the end of the road. Nope. It does not simply work like that.

Anyway, long story short, my former boss realized I was not happy since I was completely demotivated. Bad performance score. Another opportunity emerged for me to stay in the company in different function – in fact, it was my favorite function before. His comment which I clearly remember was, “This is your last chance. Make it or leave it.” Quite a statement for any employee who needs a job to pay his or her bills regularly, not to mention any active installment.

But here’s the thing: I was not afraid to leave the company back then. In fact, I was actively looking for a job and almost landed an interview with a good company (somehow they did not call me back, sigh), so my boss’ statement back then did not make me afraid. Sure, I still need the job because I haven’t got a new job yet, but I was at the point where I did not care if I was jobless for a while. Nevertheless, I think in the back of my head, I was genuinely concerned, though in the same time I was pissed off on the overall situation. That situation made me feel uncertain and unmotivated, and in the end becoming lazy to pursue my passion and my goal.

Two months waste of time. I wish I can turn back the time, but I cannot.

I need to be more stable and revisit my life plan. I guess this happens because no proper monitoring on my life plan in monthly basis. It is a hard learning, and I hope it will not be repeated in the future 😦

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Hello April!

And suddenly it is already April! Time flies too fast this year (or every year, I guess). I remember thinking the same thing at the similar time last year, but maybe back then my mind was consumed with wedding preparation. This time, I am consumed with hopes and worries. I am hoping my plan will go as expected, but in other side I feel insecure, thinking that I might not be able to achieve what I want. I haven’t prepared a plan B for that scenario, and now I am nervous. That will be my next homework to make sure I know the path I need to take moving forward.

In other side, I am slowly chasing my passion to be a writer. I try to write at least few sentences every day, to keep the momentum and the desire inside. I love writing a short story, but I am now challenging myself to write a novelette (lighter version of novel, around 7,500 words). I know it is a long way to go, and my age might not support this late “realization of dream” (33 this year, haha!), but I will still do it anyway. I think I would feel more regret later if I do not try it now, regardless if it will not turn out as I want (though of course I hope I will reach my dream to be a writer and have my own books, lol).

So, welcome April! Another month in which I will fight harder and better to follow my passion and my dreams. Ganbatte Kudasai! 🙂

PS. This post made just 10 minutes after I woke up this morning. Sorry for the short and “lazy” post, but I just want to write something to wake me up, hahaha 😛

Image result for hello april

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(Short) Birthday Reflection

So, as the title implies, today (June 17) is my birthday! 🙂

My birthday

Yes, I am that kind of person who loves to celebrate my own birthday, as much as I love celebrating others. I know there is nothing really special about birthday, considering that you are, well, getting old (and maybe a bit wiser, lol). But at least for me, birthday is a time to have a quick stop (sometimes a bit too quick) and revisit again my life, to see what I have done, what goals I have achieved, and what other things I still want to accomplish in my life. It does not sounds as “heavy” as it is, really. It is more like a peek on my continuous life.

To start with, I can easily state that 2017 is a life-changing-year for me. I just got married about 1.5 months ago (yay!) with one of the nicest person I have ever known. It is huge for me because for the last couple of years, I have been dealing with my frustration on finding the right partner in life. When I thought that I would just go with the flow and kind of accepting whatever fate I would have, this major event came and change my life completely. (I will share story of my wedding preparation and our instant-love-story in separate post, just because I want to, hehe 😉 ).

Not only in personal life, another change also happened in my professional life. I have been promoted to a higher position with a team of four. Simultaneously, I had to relocate from Jakarta to Sukorejo (Pandaan), East Java. When I first received the news from my bosses, I was having mixed feelings. I was happy because I have been moving forward steadily with my career path in the company (which is truly a bless!), plus I would go back to my hometown in Surabaya and live together with my husband. However this also meant I had to say goodbye to my old team and friends who will stay in Jakarta or move to another place. I had to leave my sister and her family as well, whom I have lived with for the last three years.

Changes are never easy, especially if it impacts your life significantly. These last six months have been quite challenging for me. In Q1, I was overwhelmed with all wedding preparation. I was very lucky that Rendy (my hubby) was actively supporting me by coordinating with the vendors and our families to ensure that the preparation went smoothly. While the wedding-stress was gradually decreasing, I gained another concern which was linked to my job: short transition process into my new role and responsibility. Everything had happened so fast, I barely had time to think if I had been doing all these changes properly, or if I should have done it differently to get better result.

In the end, I think I would say that, even though I could have done better in facing all these changes in the first six months of 2017, I managed to go through it pretty smoothly. I don’t think this would have happened without the support from my hubby, my families and friends. A new chapter of my life has just been starting, and going to have a long run in the future. I am excited, and looking forward to see how it goes (and experience it, of course!) together with my partner in life (and crime, lol). With that feeling, I will pause my reflection here, and continue in the next peek-on-my-life session. Until then!

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Random: Welcome June, My Favorite Month!

If you are guessing that I was born in June, then I need to treat you a coffee *lol*. I think it is not uncommon that some people like to celebrate their birthday, hence they tend to like their birth month. Yes, I am part of those people, because I like to remind myself on what I have achieved so I can be grateful about it, but more importantly, to also remember what I still need to improve, and what goals yet to reach. 

  

Ahem.

Okay, maybe I make it a bit complicated than it should, but I can honestly say I love celebrating it because I can have fun with my beloved ones, and particularly enjoying yummy cakes with them.

Of course, without remembering the age part *lol*

  

When I think a bit longer about it, it seems my favoritism of June is just because I want to have a special time in my life to reflect back and to celebrate life. It is also a coincidence that some good things happened in the very same month. For example, my enrollment in this company, which was one of the best decisions I ever had. It was also in the same month when I started my assignment in Lausanne, Switzerland, and when my lovely nephew was born.

So how about this year?

Funny fact, Ramadhan, the holy month for me and other moslems is actually taking place in June. Ramadhan is a holy month where we are trying our best to prevent ourselves in doing bad things and be better persons. It is a time where you are given a chance to reflect upon yourself and to balance again your spiritual and non-spiritual life.

   

Having that said, I can happily say I am celebrating June and Ramadhan. Hope you will enjoy June as well! 😎

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Unexpected Melancholy Night

I rarely write when I feel down, sad or upset, but once in a while, I will have that urge to do it, just to make me feel better inside. Tonight, that urge was pushing pretty intense I decided to write something.

It is kind of funny though. I remember two years ago I had my kind-of-broken-heart after I realized that what I expected could not be reality. Fortunately, it was cured in relatively short time. I guess I was not into that person so much.. I think I was more disappointed rather than broken-hearted. 

Two years later, I am experiencing the same thing. 

I do not know if I indeed fell in love with this particular person, but I know I could not get him out of my mind since the first time I met him. It is not usual for me to think too much when I meet a new person even though I am attracted to him.

But this person…

He somehow makes me want to be a better person.

He somehow makes me want to learn more my religion and be a good moslem. 

He somehow makes me want to learn many things, to ensure I have the same level of knowledge as his. 

He somehow makes me want to push the boundaries, thinking about living outside Indonesia.

And when I knew he has someone else in his mind and heart, my heart was and is still aching. 

So can you tell me, did I fall in love with this person? 

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Random Picture: Santorini, Greece

I was lucky I got the opportunity to travel to some European countries when I had my assignment in Lausanne. Coming from a very homy family, in the beginning I was nervous in doing solo traveling. It took just one trip to prove my concern was unreasonable 🙂

After several trips, I realized that I had my own preference on my trip destination. For example, I’d rather go to places with beautiful nature than big city with fancy shops. In more specific way, it referred more to coastal area rather than mountains. I guess in a way you are knowing yourself better by traveling to different places with different characteristics. 

One of my favorite places which I have visited is Santorini, Greece. In the beginning I was curious when I saw pictures of this beautiful island in internet. The moment I arrived there, I completely fell in love with the island. Magnificent view, good food, friendly people… Nothing really to complaint! Hopefully I can go there again some time in the near future! 🙂 

 

  

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Welcome interesting summer!

..though it’s not really the summer that I expected.. yet. We were lucky to have several hot days few weeks ago, but for the last two weeks we have been dealing with some rains, hail and cloudy days. I could not really complain because sometimes I find myself enjoying rain a lot, especially when I am in a romantic mood, while having a cup of hot tea and good book to read. Still, having sun would of course much better for me as I like to go out and enjoy the fresh air and beautiful weather outside my apartment.

Life has been quite tricky so far. I was supposed to come back to Indonesia last June, but then I got an extension for three months, which means I will only fly back to my hometown in September. I was really happy because I got the opportunity to learn more, to travel more and to spend time with my lovely friends here. However every story has two sides, and the other side which was not pretty only known after we experienced the good side, or the other way around. Let’s say that what I have expected apparently not totally become a reality.

Not to say that I am not feeling grateful for this situation – in fact, one factor that might make it happened is the request which I shared before with the management. In a way, I did contribute though it might be very minor. Besides, it does not mean I could not still do things which I like while dealing with reality. I still have my friends and my family who will support me along the way, and they make me feel stronger and happier. I am truly blessed, and I know I should feel grateful every single day for what I have.

So in a good positive spirit, I am looking forward for the summer in Lausanne, to have other travel plans to countries which are still on my to-go-list, and to make the most of my time while I am here before I leave this beautiful place and back to my home country. Or maybe another exotic country. You never know 😛