My Not-So-Simple Relationship With Writing

Ah, writing. Something that I love but also struggle to do.  

I think my interest in writing grew when I was in junior high school. I remember I tried to make a story about a detective because I was pretty addicted to Agatha Christie’s novels (particularly Poirot). Unfortunately, I stopped already in my first chapter. This happened several times and I decided not to continue.

Being exposed to manga, blogs and fan-fiction, I found back my writing enthusiasm when I was in University. I was blogging quite a lot, though the contents were not particularly, let’s say, meaningful. But then again, it’s me talking as the current me, who now have had almost ten years additional experience after graduation. Considering that I was in the middle of my journey in knowing who I am and what I want to do, I can understand why I blogged that way. 

I tried to keep writing after I entered working environment, and until some point, it worked pretty well. I enjoyed blogging something simple, funny, though sometimes could also a bit serious. It was always a pleasure to finish a post as I expected. Unfortunately, this habit was slowing down due to my excitement in doing my job (I know you might say I am a weirdo…or simply workaholic).

Frankly speaking, it has been always a tricky relationship for me (with writing). There was always time when I just stopped for a while, either because I had no idea what to write, or simply just because I was lazy. I could not say I did not have time to write, knowing that if I revisited my memories, I would have to swallow that excuse back to my throat. It is a simple concept of time management: you just have to plan it properly. 

It might look like I am over-analyzing it, and actually, maybe I am. I tend to be very critical to myself, and maybe this makes me feel under pressure. Most of the time I feel like I do not have anything “good enough” to write, though if I rethink about it, what is actually “good enough”? Writing should be something enjoyable, a special experience when you can express yourself with words. 

With the latter statement in mind, I plan to start writing more frequently and properly (of course!), but I know it would be challenging. As people often said, we need commitment to maintain a good relationship, and that is what I am currently trying to do with my writing. Wish me luck! 🙂 

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