This post is based on my own concern on young parents, or “modern parents” in taking care or treating their children nowadays. It might not happen everywhere, but it indeed happened in Jakarta, particularly in central Jakarta where most people work and live in. I have seen many parents did not bother to hold their children’s hands when they went to malls. Instead, they had their babysitter(s) taking care of their boys or girls while they were enjoying window shopping, playing with their smartphones or having a long chat in a restaurant.
I do not want to judge immediately and say it’s a bad thing. It might be good for several parents who were overwhelmed after a long working week and tried to have a quite relaxing weekend before starting all over again. However, “giving away” your children to babysitter(s) is not a good thing especially if you started it from a very young age (of your children). They would be very attached to the babysitter(s), and next thing you know, they would not be looking for you if they feel hungry or if they want someone to tell a bedtime story. Not sound good for me.
Besides of “babysitter pattern”, I also noticed another thing I often see when I go to malls: the tendency of parents to give what children want, whatever it is. This could lead children to a wrong perception where they think they can do anything and request anything without any consequences. Once I saw a mother who persuaded her little girl, around five years old, to get out from her stroller and walk with her to next store. You can guess, the litte girl refused to do it. What did her mother do? She promised to buy the little girl ice cream and chocolate if she got out and walked. She bribed her daughter just to make her walked ! How ridiculous it was?
This reminds me on a reality TV show called “Nanny 911” which showed how a well trained nanny or babysitter took care of troubled children in one particular family. It was quite awful to see how bad a child could be just because her or his parents did not know the right way to educate them. We would be introduced by terms punishment and reward: give children reward if they acted good and do their responsibilities, but in other hand, we need to stress out punishment if they indeed did something bad or against our agreed rules. This is a simple system, yet I get a feeling that it is not that easy to be implemented.
In the end, I guess it all depends on the parents themselves. The fact is, I don’t have any child yet, so I might have no idea on how difficult parenting could be. However I think I know which parenting style could give good or bad impact to children. Those that I mentioned above surely will give bad impact to children. I hope more and more parents would realize on implementing good parenting ways, before everything is too late!
PS : Just to share a quick story of mine couple weeks ago when I was at a mall and going down escalator to reach lobby. There was a little girl around five years old in front of me, playing by herself while two guys who I suspected her father and uncle walked in front of her. As she kept moving around on the escalator (dancing, looking right and left, etc.), I suddenly worried : if she was suddenly stuck or stopped in front of escalator, I might hit her. I tried to slow down my pace while hoping her dad slowed down and grabbed her hand. So much for expectation, her dad not even looked at her, not until she was really stuck, and I almost bumped her. Talking about having an eye for your children, eh??